Friday, December 04, 2009

Soundtrack Friday

There's a song making it's way through the air waves of America. It sounds peppy and upbeat. It talks about fireflies and what could be more whimsical than those sultry lightening bugs? When the song plays I see people bop at the desks, sway on the street. Every one has a little lilt to their step.

I did to, still do when I hear the song on the radio. The music really grabs me and makes me want to smile. Then I listen closely to the lyrics. They aren't really upbeat. They are more puzzling then peppy. And sound to me like the late night ponderings of someone who likes to live in that in between place before sleep, someone who might have odd and disturbing dreams and who relies on these fireflies to keep him safe by surrounding him with their whimsy.

Of course, I may be reading way too much into the lyrics. They could simply be an interstellar recipe for soup.

I do like this song. Apparently, so does Mallory's friend Jason. Jason is the main male character in Mallory's story. He's a man of the cloth who is dealing with a crisis of identity and faith. This song shows how on the outside he's the same man he's always been but on the inside he's dealing with things that are unsettling and looking for that anchor to hold him in the storm. He's also looking for a way to reconcile two different desires within himself. Aren't we all? :-)

I had a hard time reaching into Jason's character until I had listened to this song a few hundred times at work while it was on continuous loop at someone's desk. Amazing how inspiration comes from almost anywhere, isn't it?

On today's Soundtrack Friday I give you Owl City and their latest hit Fireflies. If you haven't heard the song yet, where on earth have you been hiding? I mean, it is literally everywhere!

Enjoy the pep and dance a little in your chair today while you listen. Sometimes you just need to tap your toes to know all is well.





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Thursday, December 03, 2009

My Good Friend, Fear

I'm taking an online course from author and teacher Bob Mayer titled Warrior-Writer Overview: How to Go from Writer to Author, Creatively and in Business. Bob is a former military man with a long and varied career that includes time in Special Forces. He has more than 40 books published and teaches novel writing and improving the author via his Warrior-Writer program. This course is a part of that program. And it's kicking my ass.

We are two lessons in and the thing that has struck me most so far is fear. Right now I'm supposed to be writing out goals. Instead, I'm circling the exercise, an oily feeling deep in my gut. Bob says that anything that causes anger or causes us to be upset is something that we need to look at because anger is a sign that change is needed. That oily feeling, it's not anger, but it is upsetting. I thought I had banished this fear to the ends of the earth. Instead, it crawled out of the ooze and is attempting to freak me out. All it took was one little exercise to resurrect it. Grrrr!

I talked to a friend on instant messenger last night and we talked about fear. Fear can be a good thing. Fear can keep you from injury or from doing something stupid. Fear can also keep you from doing something risky that will benefit you in the end. Fear can be your ally or it can be your enemy. Today, fear is the enemy. I'm learning, again, to push through it. To identify it and to see it for what it is - a stumbling block that will keep me from truly attempting my dreams.

A few years ago I was part of a writer's loop where we had little exercises where we were to write about something that was going on in the moment. I was going through some soul searching back then about my life, my job, my career, my goals and I was honest about where I was at in that particular moment. Funny, two and a half years later and I'm struggling with some of the same things. Work is good. I have no complaints there (just in case my new boss is reading this, yes, I really, really mean that!). But the fear, it's the same.

In this moment I am surround by my demons. A gut-wrenching, stomach-twisting, brain-paralyzing fear that I will never write. That I will never finish. That I will never accomplish my dream. That my passion is misplaced. That it's all an illusion created by a dissatisfied soul. That I am lazy. That I am rebelling against the better angels of my nature. That 9-to-5 is what I am born to do. All I am born to do. Nothing more. Nothing less.

In this moment I stare at the sunflowers I have positioned to the right of my computer at work. In this shades-of-grey cubicle, they offer sunshine and whisper to me incoherent words of hope. I stare at them and I am grounded, if only for a little while. Until the demons start to seduce me again.

In this moment I crave silence in my soul. So I can hear my thoughts. So I can find my voice again and speak. So I can have peace. So I can know that peace does exist and isn't a wistful wish tossed up to a falling star.

In this moment I hear the clack of keyboards, of good, dutiful worker drones pushing through their call lists, connecting with applicants who desire higher education. I hear muted conversations and nasal cackles. I feel alone in the middle of business and not a little lost. I want to jump up from my cubicle and yell and convince someone that there's more than these glass walls and shades-of-grey cubes and pointless conversations trying to sell the idea of knowledge. I want to toss my project lists to the four winds and dance on my manager's grave. I want to shuck this life of expectations and conformity and politics and perceptions.

At the same time, i feel naive in this want because no matter where I go or what I do, the world is made up of shades of grey and politics and perceptions. Visionaries are lost by those who are afraid of different. 9-to-5 means shackles but it also means regular pay. Security in exchange for freedom. I'm torn. I'm tired. I'm afraid.
So where do we go from here? I stop talking about change and I start enacting change, that's what. The next exercise I have in this course is to create and claim some goals. I'm going to do that. And post them here. Fear has a way of keeping us from making time to pursue our dreams. Goals have a way of creating concrete ways to move through the fear and toward our dreams. So even though I'm torn, tired and afraid with my writing I'm not going to let fear win. Not this time.

Thanks, Bob, for this course. And to think I almost didn't sign up. That would have been a tragedy!

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Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Books Read in November

Succubus Blues by Richelle Mead -- A great start to an urban fantasy series where you just aren't sure if the heroine and the potential hero will ever work out since she will suck the life force out of him if they ever consummate the relationship. Lots of great references to mythology and religion.

Turn Coat by Jim Butcher -- I ::heart:: Jim Butcher! His Harry Dresden series is always a delight and with events in Turn Coat I'm more curious than ever about where the series is going. Another gripping read!

Shadowlight by Lynn Viehl -- Lynn gave us the Darkyn series, her take on the vampire mythology paired with science, as only Lynn can. Shadowlight is the beginning of a spin off series about the Kyndred, those genetically altered humans who have the ability to become Kyndred without dying and who have unique traits all their own. This book was a wonderful bridge between the two series and leaves me rooting for the Kyn on both sides of the genetic code.

Can't Stand the Heat by Louisa Edwards -- A fun book about food, restaurants, and finding yourself that was a delight to read. Entertaining and hilarious with enough poignancy to really pull the reader in. I will definitely read the next book Louisa writes!

Instant Gratification by Jill Shalvis -- Jill offers a sexy and entertaining contemporary romance that hits the spot with book 2 of her Wilder Brothers trilogy. When I'm in the mood for a good romance, I turn to Jill. Nuff said.

Bed of Roses by Nora Roberts -- Book two of Nora's Brides Quartet is a fun book. Not as much conflict as I usually like, but a great story about sisterhood and falling in love.

Eyes like Stars by Lisa Mantchev -- The theater literally comes alive in this first book of the Young Adult Théâtre Illuminata series. A wonderful story about belonging and becoming amidst the chaos and camaraderie of the world of the theater.

Mountain Investigation by Jessica Andersen -- A nice light read that is what it is and nothing more - a short romantic suspense that centers on two people tossed together because of danger and intrigue. Harlequin Intrigue does it right when I'm in the mood for romance amidst, well, intrigue.

Hot on Her Heels by Susan Mallery -- The final book in Susan Mallery's Titan Sisters series is a great ending to a roller coaster ride. Susan does a great job of redeeming the hero and bringing a family together despite their history.

Burn by Linda Howard -- Burn is more suspense light than romantic suspense and while it feels implausible, the characters save the plot and kept me reading. I actually would like a sequel just so I can see what happens next.

Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie & Bob Mayer - I wasn't that thrilled with the first Crusie/Mayer collaboration. It was okay but felt much more Crusie than collaborative. This book has a great blend of voices and talent and even though it's on the lighter side and things happen quickly, the story sucked me right in and kept me entertained as well as guessing.


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Friday, November 20, 2009

Soundtrack Friday

There are songs that transport me to another time and place whenever I hear them. Sometimes it's because the song was playing during that other time. Or because the song just feels right for the memories. Some of these songs are nostalgic favorites - dated and cheesy but fun and meaningful. Others are epic in their scope and transcend time, filling in the emotional distance and awakening the cellular memories locked away so they feel alive, real, immediate.

Today's Soundtrack Friday is none of these. For me anyway. For Jordan, a character I wrote about years ago who haunts me to this day, this song is epic and binding. It's part of her soundtrack and one of the songs that actually triggered her story. I played it ad nauseum during the writing of Jordan's story, so much so that by the end I couldn't bear to listen it on the radio.

I heard it the other day and I was transported to those crazy days of writing about Jordan and Quinn and their turbulent lives. It was as though I had written "The End" on their manuscript only yesterday. I could see them in my mind's eye, could recall specific plot points and scenes with each chord and passage within the song. And I fell in love with Jordan and Quinn all over again. My fictional friends tend to stay with me for a very long time.

Today, I give you Celine Dion's epic It's All Coming Back To Me Now. While the video represents it as a song of loss, the lyrics are more about hope and reunion. And that's what I wish for you - hope. Have a wonderful Friday!


Celine Dion - It's All Coming Back To Me Now (Official Music Video) - Watch the best video clips here

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Friday, November 13, 2009

Soundtrack Friday

My friend April and I enjoy the music of Rob Thomas and this past week she was able to see him live - a fact I'm very envious about but don't hold that against her. I'm a good friend that way. Besides, I got to hear all about the concert from her the day after which was almost as good as being there.

Today's Soundtrack Friday is all about Rob Thomas. One of April's favorite songs is Little Wonders from the Meet The Robinsons movie soundtrack. It's a great song. One I wish was played more in my market. And one I wish I had on my iPod. Since I'm not one to just go and buy tunes from iTunes I end up missing out on some songs. Note to self, just go and buy the single already!

So this is for April. And because everyone needs a little Rob Thomas in their lives.



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Friday, November 06, 2009

Soundtrack Friday

Last night the husband and I went to our annual Vancouver Canucks vs MN Wild game. We've been going to one of these rivalry games a year for the last three years thanks to one of husband's co-workers (a shout out to Troy and the lovely Miss Elizabeth), and every time we go, my boys win. Very few people in the crowd of 18,000+ go wild when the Canucks score. There are some true blue Canucks fans in the arena who, like me, don a jersey and actually know the words to the Canadian national anthem and can shout out the names of the players at will. It's a great feeling to be one of a small number instead of one of a mob of thousands. The husband might not agree, and has threatened to not speak to me at games any more. We all know he's bluffing. *grin*

Today's Soundtrack Friday is for my boys. For playing well despite 4 key players on the injured list. For taking the disadvantage of being on the penalty side of a power play and turning it around to score. And for keeping the Wild at bay when you had so many of these power plays against you. We'll talk about the penalties at a later time, okay?

It used to be a tradition for Vancouver during home games to play Where The Streets Have No Name by U2 when the team entered the arena. I don't think they do this anymore. Have to mix it up, you know. But whenever I hear this song, I think of my team. My boys.

This one is for you, the amazing men of the Vancouver Canucks. Thanks for making a hometown girl proud last night!



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Sunday, November 01, 2009

Books Read in October

I have a few books on this list that were read at the tail end of September but because I left them at the cabin, I couldn't remember what they were. The closer I get to forty, the more notes I need to write for myself to keep me on track. *grin*

Defender and Hotshot by Catherine Mann -- The first two books of Catherine's Dark Ops series. Well written stories, but I do miss her early Wingmen Warrior series.

Black Hills by Nora Roberts -- I enjoyed the location of this story and the hero and heroine. The character development wasn't super strong, but the story was well rounded and entertaining. And at the end of the day, when I read fiction I want to be entertained.

Love You To Death by Shannon K. Butcher -- a creepy yet engaging romantic suspense focusing on a serial killer, two sisters and a cop who's lost his way. One of Shannon's best!

A Dark Love by Margaret Carroll -- another creepy yet engaging romantic suspense. The romance was a little difficult to believe, but the hero was a well written character. I would have liked to have known more about the villain but over all this was a solid first romantic suspense by the author.

My Soul To Take by Rachel Vincent -- first of the Soul Screamers series, a young adult series about banshees and death and life, oh my. A solid book, entertaining for me and written in such a way I can see adults enjoying this as much as teens. Looking forward to the next in the series.

An Echo in the Bone by Diana Gabaldon -- the long awaited 7th book...

The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley -- YA fantasy written in 1982 but has the ability to capture and pull me into the mythical world of Damar, filled with magic, kings, horses, swords and the discovery of one's self and purpose. I reread this for book club and I adore it now as much as I did back in 1982. It is epic in its simplicity and the themes, while subtle, speak to adults and youth alike. I almost can't wait for my annual reread next year. :)

Dreamfever by Karen Marie Moning -- book 4 of her 5 part Fever urban fantasy series. A tantalizing addition to an already spellbinding story and while we learm more about the key characters in this alternate Dublin, we are left with more questions. I have to say, while I'm enjoying the series this puts a lot of pressure on the final book to tie up loose ends to and answer all the little questions that have been asked along the way. I sincerly hope KMM is up to the challenge!

A Doom With A View by Victoria Laurie -- Psychics, murder and mayhem, oh my! This book is part of a mystery series by a well known psychic. I didn't know that when I picked it up and I found the book to be well written as far as the mystery went and a little distracting with the psychic portion of the show. I recommend the series to anyone who enjoys cozy mysteries but won't likely be reading any more in the series myself. There just wasn't enough internal conflict for the main character for me.

Covet by J. R. Ward -- The beginning of her new Fallen Angels series...