Soundtrack Friday

I was going through my DVDs the other day trying to find something to watch that fit my mood at the time. I wanted a story that had some whimsy, some adventure and a little drama tossed in for good measure. The movie I picked up was Ever After.

This is a wonderful rendition of the Cinderella fairy tale. A young woman loses everything as a child - position, parents, affection, her home/place in the world - and yet her spirit is not broken and she continues to dream and work toward maintaining those things she holds dear. Disaster ensues but it doesn't destroy our plucky heroine. Instead, she reaches down into herself and finds that the strength and hope she held on to for all those years was just as strong and real as ever, and enough to get her through. With a little help of her friends, of course.

I love that while our heroine needs others in her life, she is not dependent on others to save her from her situation. She partners, she encourages, she even teaches. But when push comes to shove, she knows she can rely on herself as well.

There is only one song in the movie that has lyrics. Texas, the now defunct Scottish band, lent their song Put Your Arms Around Me to the credits of the movie and I think the song sums up some of the main character arcs in Ever After. I love the song so much that it's been on almost every soundtrack for the stories I've written to date. It's definitely a key song for Mallory's journey and figures in often while she works out who she is in this world she lives in.

Today's Soundtrack Friday video/song is Put Your Arms Around Me by Texas. I hope you enjoy the song as much as I do.

Texas Put Your Arms Around Me
Uploaded by magik-man2. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Downsizing - The Goals Post

In my last post I let you know my home office was a mess. Literally. Too much stuff is crammed into four walls and the workflow doesn't exist. It would have been easy to simply state my goal as a clean and functional office. And that is the end goal. But that isn't a clear enough goal for me to be able to follow through on my intentions.

So I'm going to follow a process I learned a few years ago called the Results Process. I learned this process from a good friend, Nicole Z., who taught a program on the Power of Purpose through the Kairos Foundation. This process can be used when you are clear on your intentions and have a willingness to create change in your life. Those are powerful and important things -- clarity and willingness to change. I'm clear that my office isn't working for myself or my husband. I am clear that the state of chaos in the office is contributing to the state of chaos my mind is in when it comes to being clear on what needs to be done at home. It's also contributing to the state of my writing, which has been spotty at best.

In other words, the state of my office is a handy excuse for all the things I'm putting off and is a product of and contributor to the disorderly way I've been managing my home and my writing.

Now that I'm clear, I need to decide if I'm willing and motivated to change. To do this I may go through some reflection on the cost the state of the home office is having on my life. I may also have to confront the pay offs I've associated to the clutter and mess. Do the costs outweigh the benefits? In my heart, am I movitvated enough to change? This isn't just a change in the office itself, it's a change to my beliefs and behaviors. You read that correctly. When we change anything in our lives we are also changing something about our beliefs and behaviors. Until we recognize this, I don't know that real change will really happen.

Once I've done this, I can move forward. And forward means defining my results. The first step of the Results process.

1. Put into works exactly what I want to create -- an organized, simplified office containing only those items I need and a workflow that is easy to use by my husband and myself. Is also easy to maintain.

2. The result needs to be stated in a way that is concrete, time based and measurable. What I stated above needs some work because it doesn't match those criteria. I may have to break down my larger over all goal into steps -- By August 2nd, the items on the desk, file cabinet and floor will be sorted, and either purged, given away or filed/stored.

Why make it specific and based in time? So I can easily see if I have acheived my goal or not. With out a means to measure the goal, it becomes this wish or desire without action. Been there, done that. Tired of the lack of results.

So there you have it, my first goal toward my downsized office. I'll keep you posted, hopefully next week with pictures. And I'm going to discuss the Results Process some more.

If you have a goal and things haven't been moving forward for you, you may want to try defining your goal differently by making it specific, measurable and locked in time. I'm rooting for you!

Downsizing

I have a confession to make. I am a life coach who helps others grow in many areas, one of which is personal/household organization. I have had a lot of success with my clients. Recently, my personal success has been far less than successful.

I have a home office that I love. Except for one thing. I have way too much stuff crammed into a space approximately 9 ' by 13'. Way too much stuff. Part of the reason for my massive amount of stuff is that I have a hard time throwing things away. Another part is that I am great at organizing other people, but horrible at organizing myself. Maybe it's because organizing the office always falls to the bottom of the priority list these days. Or maybe it's because I have no clue how to best use the space. It could also be that I feel compelled to try the strategies I suggest to my clients so recently I haven't landed on that formula that really works for me.

It's a difficult thing to admit that while I coach others my personal organization is less than stellar. I've fallen victim to stuffitis. And it's time to purge and really let go. My husband wants to share the home office with me. Personally, I think couples should have separate offices but our house just doesn't lend itself to that. For now. As my coaching and writing and *fingers crossed* online teaching worlds grow, I will need a more dedicated space, but that's another discussion for another day. Reality is that I have too much stuff in our home office. And I want to change that.

I picked up a couple of books this past winter while I was living through this economic experiment known as the Great USA Unemployment Game, but I found work shortly after picking up the books so I never read them. I made a commitment to myself that instead of reading fiction this week I was going to read through one of these books to jumpstart Project Home Office Downsize. And, as I tell my clients, I'm going to write down my goals, enlist support to help me reach those goals and check in with my support to see how things are going.

I'm going to be brave and hang it all out here as well. I'm committing to once a week giving you an update on my progress. Since I want to be deliberate about this change and not have it be a blitz declutter only to have the home office become filled to overflowing again this change is going to take time.

I encourage you to join me on this journey by looking at something in your life you want to change and then putting together the plan and support to change it. It doesn't have to be big. Little changes are the foundation for true and lasting changes to our lives. Feel free to share your journey here with me. If you do, I promise to cheer you on!

Soundtrack Friday

I have had a very full couple of weeks. Family visits, marathon cleaning events, packing away breakables in preparation of the next round of renovation demolition projects. Toss a summer cold in and you have a couple of weeks of whilwind activity I can barely remember.

It brought me back to a time when life was chaotic and I felt like I was drowning beneath all the commitments and responsibilities. It was 1996 and my body finally said enough and landed me in a hospital for 9 days. One of the best things to have happened to me, it turns out. I was given time to reflect, to rest and to explore who I was and who I wanted to be. And I had cable tv. LOL

It was during this memorable hospital stay I was introduced to Natalie Merchant's solo career and her song Wonder. The song is about a woman who has found wonder and beauty and strength in herself. It's upbeat and, well, wonderful!

Now, 13 years later, I long for Mallory to feel that same way about herself. I know she's a fictional character, but she has pieces of myself within her and so I want her to see the wonder and beauty in her own soul. And I guess I want to connect with that same wonder and beauty in mine. Especially after the last couple of weeks.

For today's Soundtrack Friday I give you Natalie Merchant and her hit single Wonder from the 1995 album, Tigerlily. As you listen remember that you are one of the wonders of God's own creation. And you are precious. Have a wonderful Friday!

Watch more Tigerlily videos on AOL Video

Happy Canada Day!

I'm a proud Canadian living abroad. Yes, I consider the USA abroad. Dictionary.com lists abroad as "in or to a foreign country or countries" and since I'm not American, the USA fits that definition quite nicely. On Saturday my adopted country will celebrate their independence with backyard barbeques, family gatherings and fireworks. Lots and lots of fireworks.

Most of the time I love the country I have chosen to call home. I love the people I have met and the opportunities afforded me. And I love my husband, who is very much an American. But days like today make me long for some good Canadian fellowship. I miss the humour, the knowing silences when watching the news, the nationalism and the sense of community. I miss the chocolate and the fries with cheese curds. I miss malt vinegar as a condiment served with fries. I miss pop being made with cane sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup. I miss Canadian Coke. I miss Good Host iced tea and Mackintosh's toffee. I miss Canadian beer - oh do I miss it! I miss my mom and family. Especially on days like today.

What makes today different? It's Canad

a Day! The day day where four of the Canadian colonies banded together and decided that they wanted to form a federation with its own government while still under the Commonwealth of the United Kingdom. This occured back on July 1, 1867. On July 1, 1868 Canadians celebrated the first anniversary of confederation, and Canada was in essence born. It didn't become a national holiday until much, much later, but we were able to become our own nation with our own government in a peaceful manner. Not saying the Americans and others were wrong to stage a revolution. Just saying sometimes, if the conditions are right, you can pull away from the mothership in a peaceful and lasting manner.

I wish you all a Happy Canada Day! It is a day to celebrate what it means to be a Canadian. And to celebrate partnerhip and unity. Have a goon one, eh!

Books Read in June

Happy Canada Day!

June was off with a bang! I quickly read a few entertaining books and then life got busy and suddenly all my plans to read my way through the pile of books decorating my bedside table were shoved out the window. I think this is the fewest number of books I've read in a month ever. And that's just sad. Still, they were all great books and I'm glad I spent time with each and every one.

True Love & Other Disasters by Rachel Gibson -- A fun romp and vintage Gibson

Silver Falls by Anne Stuart -- Not what I would term romantic suspense, but a good suspense with some romantic elements. Loved the villian's point of view.

Burning Alive by Shannon K. Butcher -- A great start to a new paranormal series by Ms. Butcher. Her husband had better watch out. Shannon may end up with a following as big as Jim's! LOL

Lover Avenged by J.R. Ward -- Rehvenge's story is not to be missed. I was a little turned off by the hardcover price, but it was well worth it! More romance, great turning points for the BDB and the introduction of some twisty plots.

The Family He Wanted by Karen Sandler -- A Silhouette Special Edition and like all category romances, a quite read. Not my complete cup of tea since the heroine was really young and I'm not, but a well written escape nonetheless.

A Weaver Wedding by Allison Leigh -- Another Sihouette Special Edition and a great little story filled with strong characters, twisty plots, and, of course, a wedding. Another fun escape for a Sunday afternoon.

Finger Lickin' Fifteen by Janet Evanovich -- Gimme more Ranger! While I wasn't completely satsified with the 14th installment of the Stephenie Plum saga, the 15th book delivered pure mayhem and Burg fun. Not to mention a ton of Ranger. I ::heart:: Ranger. *grin*

That's it for June. I told you it was a low reading month. I'm hoping July picks up since there are so many good releases coming out in July. So many books and so little time...

Boundaries

Some days I wonder just how good I am at setting boundaries. I think I communicate my needs and wants and what the boarders of my personal time and space are. Or how far I'm willing to commit. I think I'm well versed on creating agreements and negotiating with the needs/wants of others. Most of the time, I do fairly well. Agreements are created. Needs are preserved, if stretched a bit. And life moves forward in partnership.

Then days like today occur. Days where I throw my hands in the air and question my communication skills or my ability to make my desires, wants and needs known. I can set some boundaries within the work place. I can negotiate boundaries at home and with friends. But at the end of the day, both parties need to agree to follow through on the agreement to work within those boundaries or it just won't work. Today was one of those days where a personal boundary was crossed. And it totally threw me.

Why are boundaries so hard to maintain? Is it because we're not clear on how we define them? Is it because we focus on our own boundaries without regard to what other people truly need? Is it because it's culturally unacceptable for me, a woman, to have boundaries? Is it because I don't hold up my own boundaries?

In this case, I think it's a combination of a few of these, and I want to focus on what I can control - being consistent with my own boundaries. I can say no, set parameters or make agreements all I want, but I don't follow through and hold up my own boundary, why should I expect anyone else to respect my boundaries either? I can't go around asking people to do as I say and not as I do. Life doesn't work that way. If we are inconsistent, people will follow our examples rather than our words.

Upon reflection, I realize I haven't been consistent with expressing this particular need/boundary or with sticking to it. I've caved a lot in the past. Sometimes to keep the peace. Sometimes out of guilt or a misconception that all boundaries equal a selfish spirit. Sometimes just because caving is easier than putting energy into maintaining the boundary. And I don't have anything left to negotiate with right now, so I'm out of luck. But, I can take this situation and build fresh agreements with myself and with others around this need/boundary and with consistency I can maintain balance with it moving forward.

How do you manage your boundaries? When your boundaries are shoved at, do you give in? Do you stand firm? Do you negotiate a compromise so all parties win something? Or do you pack up your toys and head home?